-- gaslampTragedian [GT] began pestering abyssalArrow [AA] at 15:31 --

GT: All day, it has been raining, and all day, I found my thoughts drifting towards what you might be doing on such a delightfully dismal day. Have you ended any interesting animal life today?

AA: Actually, no. I was tending my ever growing backstock.

AA: It is remarkable how long frozen carcasses keep, but one must be careful to skin them within a reasonable amount of time.

AA: Have you been mending the aged computers with your usual gusto?

GT: I do my best, but I find myself deliciously distracted.

AA: Why is that?

GT: I read today that doomsday cults are on the rise. There is blood in the water.

AA: You think these cults are right this time?

GT: I don't which I would prefer: if they were wrong or if they were right.

AA: I always thought their predictions were fun, nonetheless.

AA: I wonder how the world will end.

GT: Futility has its own flavor, it's true. I believe the poet Elliot had a few remarks on that subect.

AA: I can't say I'm familiar.

GT: "Not with a bang, but with a whimper." Catastrophe is overrated. It is not as if the world will be hit by a gargantuan meteor or something.

AA: It would be fun to go that way though, if a bit sudden.

AA: Excitement in your final moments.

GT: What's the fun in that? How could the audience enjoy it if it's over in a bang and a flash like a bad action movie. A squeamish disquiet that strangles the soul is much better than an abrupt violent end.

AA: It would be a break from the monotony of what we are used to. Imagine, going about your daily life and suddenly, for instance, a nuke goes off.

GT: While I would enjoy that brief moment of regret at all the things I left unfinished due to my abrupt end, it would be more tragic if I had ample time, and still ingnored them out of an inevitable sense that a creeping doom is a preventable one.

GT: But enough on this topic, I need some time to cool down. Writing fanfiction while overly ... aroused is transparent to the readers.

AA: The apocolypse arouses you?

GT: Intellectually, of course.

AA: Hm. Curious.

AA: I am intrigued to find I haven't though of it very much.

GT: It's a topic I'd be happy to explore with you, given you have the intestinal fortitude I find so refreshing.

GT: For example, assuming that the world did end in some type of nuclear apocolypse, after the fireworks have died down, imagine that some survived.

GT: And these flawed human beings are literally the difference between oblivion and a new beginning.

GT: Any small mistake they make will snuff out the human race, and memories of all that came before.

GT: Imagine that pressure, that stress, coupled with the knowledge of their own inadequacies, weighing down on them as they futilely struggle to rise out of the ashes.

GT: But we all know the truth, they struggle against inevitability, and it is not the world that will be their undoing, but themselves.

AA: Sounds like a true challenge of the human fortitude.

GT: They might see it that way.

GT: But really, it's just a tragedy

AA: What is making you say all of this?

GT: Sorry, I went off on a tangent. But perhaps one day I'll have to link you my epic post-apocolyptic Muppet Babies fanfiction.

AA: Muppet... babies?

GT: Yes, these types of scenarios are best when the protagonists are very young, and suddenly without their caretakers.

AA: Wouldn't a younger group of characters be a bit unsuited for life on their own.

GT: That's partially the point.

AA: I would be fine, of course, but I think myself a bit out of the ordinary.

GT: I wonder how I would fare? I've never been much for physical altercation, much to my chagrin.

GT: But I really want to see the end, all the way through.

AA: Just be sure you always have your strife specibus filled.

GT: Even if an ending is unpleasant, there is something to be said for seeing it out to the curtains' close.

GT: What kind of gent would I be without my umbrella?

AA: ...

AA: Your specibus is an umbrella?

GT: What? Umbrella-kind is an entirely legitimate specibus allocation.

GT: Besides, I grew sick of fiddling with my sylladex to pick up my umbrella every evening, when it rains here so often.

AA: I suppose that is a worthy use of a specibus.

AA: But were you attacked by a raging stag or worse... a bear.

GT: One day I must introduce you to Archibald.

AA: A formidable defender, I suppose?

GT: Or warden, or butler, depending on the hour.

GT: His attempts to 'discipline' me are most unpleasant.

GT: My posterior has often been subjected to his cold mechanical fury.

AA: How medival.

GT: He seems to think it's his job to discipline me and turn me into a 'real gentleman'.

AA: medieval*. Oops.

GT: The umbrellas... they do nothing.

AA: Perhaps what you need is a swordbrellacane?

GT: I've tried. Apparently 'swordbrella' is it's own specibus. Who even wrote these rules? They make no sense whatsoever.

AA: How does one even go about changing their specibus?

GT: Apparently, from all I can tell, the allocation is permanent. According to my character sheet, I'd have to find another specibus card, and even then, I'd have to start from the beginning.

AA: Well, That's a shame.

AA: That is, a shame if you end up having to strife with something that cannot be fought with an umbrella.

AA: Just stay out of the woods.

GT: I am sure my wit will prevail, when the time comes.

AA: What's your fetch modus?

GT: You seem eager to know a lot about me. Have I set your maiden's heart aflutter?

AA: Haha. You do, at least, talk to me whilst my heart beats.

GT: I've never been above speaking with the dead, myself, so I shall take this as a win.

AA: The dead are boring, not much to look at, usually.

GT: Such unkind words for a taxidermist to say.

AA: That is why I combine them into things the living world has never seen.

GT: Fancy is oftentimes far more real than reality.

AA: Fancy?

GT: There's more reality in one of your mermice than there is in the entire stock exchange.

AA: ...I am unsure what to make of this.

GT: What I'm saying is, in the coming days, it may be important to keep a flexible definition of reality.

AA: Is this going back to those doom prophets?

GT: Perhaps, or perhaps I am a little drunk off of the excellent company.

AA: Do you not get much interaction with the living?

GT: My friends are rarely online these days. Hopefully something dreadful has happened to them. :)

AA: I wonder.

AA: Do you wish them dead, or only to suffer?

GT: There was a girl once. Another stole her from me. We haven't spoken since.

AA: Care to elaborate?

GT: Well, I suppose in retrospect, I had it coming.

AA: Cryptic.

GT: Deliberately so. :) I have to keep you interested somehow.

AA: Very well, what happened, Jack?

GT: There was a girl who was my intended since childhood. However, one of my few close friends came, and snatched my birthright, and thus her, out from underneath me while I worked to protect them.

AA: What made her your birthright?

GT: I think in your country they would call it an arranged marriage.

GT: There was another... but I think I'll save that story for another time. It's ill luck to harp upon your exes.

AA: Where are you from, anyway?

GT: I was from a small country in the orient, but now I live on the coast.

AA: Interesting. I have lived in these mountains all of my life.

GT: With your mother, was it?

AA: Yes.

AA: Insufferable as she may be, that woman knows the lay of the land well.

GT: I wonder why she chose somewhere so remote to raise a child.

AA: Quite resourceful with technology.

GT: I still assert that my mental image of her is a brawny lumberjacktress

AA: She brought with her the capabilities for internet access with sustainable methods for creating things based purely on design.

AA: She is quite brawny, a stark contrast to my lithe form.

GT: Why not follow in her footsteps? Nothing wrong with a woman with a healthy appetite. You have to think about the future, child bearing hips and all.

AA: I think I'd rather climb a tree.

AA: You certainly are fixated on the continuation of the species today.

AA: Why is that?

GT: Possibly all the doomsday cult rumors?

AA: Hmmm.

AA: Surely there is something more?

GT: Or perhaps I have been otherwise compromised. ;)

AA: I belive you have.

AA: Shit. Believe.

GT: Perhaps you have some insight?

AA: You clearly have some fixation on me.

GT: rubbish

AA: Oh?

GT: If I were fixated on you, You would already be D34D.

AA: Hm. I remain unconvinced.

GT: I suppose there's no harm in believing that

-- abyssalArrow [AA] is now an idle chum! --

AA: Alright, if you haven't taken to me, why is it?

GT: You certainly seem conflicted today.

AA: I am simply intrig- hold on.

AA: I am simply intrigued that these doom prophets have so consumed your thought.

GT: And saddened that you haven't.

AA: Hmmm. Perhaps it is simply that after thousands of years of failed predictions, I can no longer give them any stock.

AA: Any ponderings are fleeting imaginatory musings.

GT: It doesn't matter if they come true. It's the fact that people believe it.

GT: That fill you with ardor, I'm sure.

AA: Hmmm... It is indeed interesting to see what people believe.

AA: But simply because some believe in something doesn't mean that we all should.

GT: I'm not asking you to believe in it. The fact that enough people /do/ mean that something is going on. Perhaps not the apocolypse, but something.

AA: Perhaps you are right.

AA: I am unsure.

AA: Perhaps it is a good thing that people have something to believe in.

AA: Even if that something is their eventual demise.

GT: I can drink to that. Maybe when we meet in person, if ever?

AA: Cannot say I have ever had the pleasure of drinking a supporific, but should we ever come across some at the time of our meeting, we should.

GT: I fancy absinthe, myself.

AA: What is it like?

GT: If you are going to impair one's judgement, why not have a mild hallucinogen at the same time.

AA: Hallucinations sound fun.

GT: It tastes like licorice and artists tears. And they are.

AA: Hmmmmm. Not much for licorice.

AA: Perhaps when i find some i will captchalogue it and keep it with me.

GT: I'm curious, what is your modus, anyway, dearest?

AA: You actually never told me yours.

GT: Ah, you caught me. How about a trade then. I will tell you mine if you tell me yours?

AA: Cyclical Array List

GT: I have a cloud modus. It was very useful when my friends were alive, but became the instrument of my undoing.

GT: ... zounds.

AA: Do you mean your modus operated from other people's captchas?

GT: Indeed.

GT: From my friends back in my home country. And now they are all dead.

AA: This opened a lot of doors for you, while closing others.

AA: Am I correct?

GT: You could say that.

AA: How do you feel about it?

GT: I lost a lot of my things, for starters. And the capacity has never been the same.

GT: And getting it to work off of a 33kb modem sometimes, is... interesting.

AA: I would imagine so.

AA: Mine has an issue of processing overhead, especially with the amount of junk I have accumulated.

GT: Do I even want to know what kind of "junk" a serial taxidermist keeps in their sylladex?

GT: A rhetorical question, of course I do. Share, Share.

AA: Well. It is important to have all of my climbing equipment on my person at all times.

AA: And I have made several types of crossbow bolts, each with its own stack in my list.

AA: However many of those are useless, but I simply haven't bothered to clean it out.

GT: I understand your pain. I sometimes cannot bear to throw out things I've made or collected.

AA: In addition to various bits and pieces from a few years ago when the trashcan wasn't very close to my taxidermy table.

AA: This is an issue because the pieces have decayed in my sylladex, and now were I to remove them, I fear the stench would knock even me out.

GT: The smell must be complex.

GT: One day you'll have to open it up and describe the bouquet

AA: However, the problem only worsens, as the more things there are in this modus, the slower its response time. It really is a hazard, but I can't exactly dump them anywhere.

AA: I think this modus was only designed to handle about one hundred items.

GT: I think I might have just the trick, but sadly my upload speeds are slow. Let me send you an old fetch modus of mine. It should help clear the clutter.

AA: What do you have in mind?

AA: I was thinking of breaking the line in the event of an emergency, if I can ever get a hazmat suit.

GT: It's called a "hole" modus. It's a portable hole. Back in the old country, they were considered uncomplicated, but high capacity.

AA: There is nothing inherently wrong with my modus, it is simply that the amount of clutter that is inside of it is becoming unmanageable.

GT: then just dump everything into the hole, adjust the opening, and shake it out.

AA: I need to spend a day clearing it out.

GT: It should get rid of the little bits and pieces.

AA: But... what if I get chased by a bear?

AA: I am unsure, but I think I like having this failsafe in case of a hairy situation.

GT: The answer is obvious. Exiunt. And I shall send it regardless. You might need it, and it's cluttering up my house.

AA: I appreciate it.

AA: So, how do you intend for this exchange to occur?

GT: In an email, of course.

AA: I was unaware moduses could be transferred in this fashion.

GT: It's a benefit of my cloud modus.

AA: Interesting.

AA: Thank you, I will put it to good use.

AA: I will begin offloading some of the stress as soon as I recieve it.

GT: of course. It will take a bit though, so don't worry if you don't recieve it right away.

AA: Alright.

GT: Having a lovely evening otherwise?

AA: Yes I am, feeling rather lazy today

AA: today.*

GT: Forgive me, I've been into the Absinthe... If I seem too forward, you can banish me for a time. But a woman as lovely as you deserves to lounge about as she pleases, when she pleases.

AA: I have been feeling rather uninspired, so my backlog is only getting worse.

AA: It is easy to hunt, not so easy to create a beautiful chimera.

GT: Often the artists of yore required a Muse. What is your muse?

AA: Anubis.

AA: And yours?

GT: Melpomene.

AA: Ah yes. I should have guessed.

GT: Though if you keep this up she may have competition.

AA: I... am unsure how to respond.

AA: Such compliments...

GT: Shouldn't a lady of such class be used to hearing such things+

GT: ?*

AA: Hmm...

AA: Most are not receptive of my talents.


GT: yes?

AA: Have you been pestered by some people claiming to be aliens or "trolls"?

GT: No, not yet, why?

GT: Has someone been upsetting you?

GT: Shall I brandish my umbrella?

AA: Not really. Harmless internet stuff.

AA: Just wondering, as Beau and I have already been both bothered by them.

AA: We were curious if they had reached you as well.

GT: No, not yet.

AA: Hmm.

AA: I wonder why that is.

GT: I am probably just uninteresting.

AA: I doubt that is the case.

AA: They seem to be all going for one person at a time, I think. I was hit 2 days ago, Beau yesterday.

GT: Hmm, interesting. Maybe I shall be the victim tomorrow.

AA: You know what to look for, I suppose.

GT: Vagabonds and Ruffians, I'm sure.

AA: Certainly.

AA: Likely some group of friends making trouble.

-- gaslampTragedian [GT] changed their mood to OFFLINE  --

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